One Tired Tanuki

1.5M ratings

277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

One Tired Tanuki

🦑 soft 🦝🐶 Guardian of Secrets 💀 I will destroy your concept of time

takashi0

lightningbreath

Zelda is the only thing distracting Link from his natural urge to commit violence, arson, and Korok-rights violations. Please do not separate or face severe and devastating consequences.

https://twitter.com/callimara/status/1663210080073035783?t=3xsC6dhBvHrfS625qu90Hg&s=19

dragolianx

Zelda is Link’s impulse control, without her the urge to commit war crimes increases 10 fold

majestickoral

On the flip side, Link keeps Zelda from her self destructive tendencies.

Link's not here? Time to spend 100 years as a being of light, in a castle, fighting Ganon.

Link's not here? Time to E A T R O C K

werewolf-cuddles

alwaysbewoke:
“wellokayletsgo:
“owlee22:
“baddeststudpapi:
“geologick:
“ bklyn-raisedme:
“ afro–ditee:
“ alwaysbewoke:
“ dangerouslypleasantvictuuri:
“ pinkgliitter:
“ malefica-3791:
“ cisnowflake:
“ itsfinisyo:
“ alwaysbewoke:
“...

takashi0

mothers-and-fuckers-of-the-jury

the traveling trinkets wagon is in town :) pick your purchase.

a small glass jar full of dried rose petals

incense cones and a small stone bowl to burn them in

an oracle deck wrapped in a scarf, no box to be found

a silver candlestick holder with one black candle resting in it

a star shaped woven basket of rocks

a chunk of quartz a little larger than the size of a human heart

a piece of driftwood that looks like an eye

a red paisley curtain with a few odd stains

a smooth, polished ball of amethyst

a jar full of what looks to be fortune cookie slips of paper

there is no guarantee the trinkets are not cursed. choose at your own risk. reblog to keep the trinket shop traveling.

baronjoy

thegaymertrainer

That’s SO cool to see it explained

charlesoberonn

First part of a Twitter thread by @SamAsIAm: "A friend who is a municipal arborist just called to tell me about a guy who cut down 32 big mature trees on his neighbor's NJ property to get a better view of NYC. He hired a guy who hired another guy. Cut them down and left the debris there. The fine per tree is $1000 so the 1/ 2/ guy propably thought he was going to just pay a $32k fine. But the arborist wrote violations to all 3 parties, 96 in all (by hand, took him 12 hours) and there's a provision requiring the replanting of like trees "of the same size." And it's on an inaccessible by road"

Continuation of Twitter thread by @SamAsIAm: "3/ mountainside. He put the affronted landowner in touch with the only guy who would take on such a job. Thry have to build a road, remove the debris, plant big trees and water them for two years. He quoted $1.5 million. And additional fines total $400k. I hope whoever this ass 4/4 is he can't pay and they lien and sell his property, the value of which he probably figured would be increased so much a $32k fine was worth it, to cover the cost. We are living in the Jaime Dimon ethos. "So fine us, we can afford it. 4/5 The PS to this is I was just given a zoom link to the 1st court hearing tomorrow. I'm not sure if it's just for trail participants or spectators can use it, but if they let me observe I'll add more. It doesn't appear to have been picked up by any news source yet."

Quote Tweet by @ParSpec: "Apparently NOBODY ELSE IN THE QUOTE TWEETS RESPECTS TRADITION ENOUGH TO POST THE TREE LAW COMIC"

A 1-page comic by u/reachling: Panel 1: A saddenned person with short hair looking at a tree stump, their hands are holding the sides of their head. They're saying "Oh no! The rare cherry tree grandma brought with her from the old country! It's been chooped down!!" and then in another speech bubble "And only a week after the new neighbor complained about it blocking his view too!" Panel 2: The young person turns around with a befuddled look on their face. A speech bubble from the bushes says "Tree law?" Panel 3: A bald bearded lawyer with a suit and briefcase looks from behind a picket fence and says "Tree law?" Panel 4: Another lawyer with shades pops their head from inside the bushes and says "Tree law?!" Panel 5: Another lawyer crawls from under the stump with a briefcase and says "Tree law!!" Panel 6: The four lawyers carry the young person above them. The person is looking confused. Two of the lawyers are holding pitchforks and torches. Around them are raining dollar bills. The lawyers are chanting "Tree! Law! Tree! Law!"

Art by u/reachling

unholyblissafterdark

woevembur

finishing dragon’s tears at night is something else

afeelgoodblog

nerdbunnni

So uh.. I accidentally threw Sidon off of dueling peaks

pleasespellchimerical

honestlytoomuch

Teaching 5-year-olds about animal classification, fingernails dug into my palms, jaw clenched, just barely holding back telling them about how fish are fake fish are fake fish are fake

markscherz

Fish are just as real as you and me. Because they are you and me. We are them. They is we are am them. Blorp.

dragonwysper

It's fucking killing me that you are a herpetologist, a person who has written papers and named species, and you are talking about how silly the hot takes and shit posts in the taxonomy tag on Tumblr are. You are my new role model I hope you know. I aspire to have your energy one day.

markscherz

Hot takes with science sauce is my whole vibe, friends